Alone with Ghosts
by britterfly
Summary: How are Lizzie and Gordo reacting to the tradgedy of Miranda's death? Will they hate each other or come together and reconcile? And will Gordo's feelings for Lizzie resurface to his dangerous passion as before? COMPLETE
1. INTRO

Alone with Ghosts  
  
Lizzie had changed a lot this year. She wasn't her normal preppy self. Her fashion was the complete opposite of what it used to be, she never smiled, never laughed, never looked happy. And I knew why. I was the reason for her drastic changes. I was the reason for her depression. Hell, I was probably the reason for Miranda's depression. Why can't I control my feelings? Last times I let my emotions overcome my body, I caused my friendship with Lizzie to end and for Miranda to kill herself.  
  
It had been nearly a year since Miranda killed herself. Every night I relive that dreadful day in my dreams. I can see myself running as fast as I possibly can to Miranda's house trying to save her but no matter how far I run, I never get there. It's like, every time I have that dream, I get farther and farther away from Miranda.  
  
It used to scare me but now when I have that dream, it just reminds me of how stupid I am. How stupid I really was.  
  
If I had just been upfront with Miranda from the beginning, none of this would have happened. If I had told her that I was in love with Lizzie and that I only loved her as a friend, would she have gotten so depressed? Would she have hated me and herself so much after I finally broke up with her? Would Lizzie hate me as much as she does now?  
  
Right now, I can't really tell. All I know is that my actions caused me to be alone in this world. Completely alone. No Miranda, No Lizzie, No Anybody. 


	2. Reconciliation

I don't go to lunch anymore. I go to the library and listen to my portable cd player in the back, away from everyone and everything. Everyone at the school knows what happened. They also know what caused it. Who caused it.  
  
People look at me. They stare and whisper. Even after all of this time, no one seems to want to get over the fact that I am responsible for Miranda's death. Even after all of this time, no one seems to want to be my friend. Everybody hates me, and god, do I hate them for that.  
  
Truth be told, I should stop whining. I mean, I did bring this upon myself. I'm such a pathetic little thing. Nothing is important about me. Even more so than before.  
  
I was listening to my music in the back when I felt a hand touch me on the shoulder. The feeling was warm. It was loving. I turned around and there she was…  
  
"Hi, Gordo!" Lizzie said. She didn't speak in her natural cheery tone. She seemed sad, but loving. Like she had wanted to do this for a long time.  
  
"Hi. How are you?" I replied.  
  
"I'm getting better. I think of it as though, Miranda wanted me to be happy. She wanted me to continue my life even though she couldn't continue her own."  
  
Right there, Lizzie sat down and began to cry. She cupped her head into her hands and just cried.  
  
I wrapped an arm around her body and comforted her.  
  
"Please, don't cry. I know how you're feeling. I'm so sorry."  
  
"Do you really? I mean, I feel like I am the reason for all of this. If I had known you were with Miranda, I could have supported you guys. Maybe you wouldn't have begun to have feelings for me. Maybe I could have left you guys alone and not gotten involved. I just, I just wish that none of this had ever happened."  
  
"No, don't say that. It was not your fault. It was never your fault. You were innocent in all of this. I should have controlled my feelings. I shouldn't have told Miranda or even agreed to be with her. My actions caused all of this pain, this hurt, this suffering. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."  
  
My head fell onto Lizzie's back. I then started to cry along with her. I didn't care about who saw me. At that moment, all I wanted to do was cry with Lizzie. It felt good to cry with her. To be sad with her. At least then, I would be sad with someone. I would be depressed with someone. I could be with someone, even if  
  
I really wasn't with them.  
  
Lizzie moved her body and placed her head up. She looked up at me and I stared into her eyes. Her eyes were puffy and dropping. You could see no life in them.  
  
I cupped my hand into her face and gently rubbed her cheek with my hand. At that moment, all of my feelings and desires for Lizzie came back to me. I thought that I had finally gotten over her but when I saw her right there, I couldn't. She looked so innocent her all of her sadness. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to be with her. But I knew I couldn't. I knew what these feelings could do to me.  
  
I took my hand off of her cheek and stood up out of my chair.  
  
"I'm sorry. I've, I've got to go. I'm, I've just got to go."  
  
I ran out of the library as fast as possible. Just another situation that I was running out on. I couldn't stand to be in there any longer. There was just too much pain. Too much pain looking at her. 


	3. Our Talk

As much as I would like to get over Lizzie, it's just too hard. I see her and my heart melts completely. It's like I'm not supposed to love anyone else but her. It's like without her, I'm nothingness. I was starting to handle my feelings and get on with my life because Lizzie was hardly a part of it. But now, ever since she confronted me, I can't stop thinking about her. Her hair that shines like moon beams. Her striking eyes which pierce my soul. And the feeling of her soft skin only makes me shiver with desire.  
  
I want her more than I ever did before. I know that I can't live without her and I know that if I don't have her, my life will be incomplete. If I don't have her, how will I go on? If I don't have her, no one else will.  
  
It has been nearly a year since I last decided to watch Lizzie. At midnight, I didn't go to her window and watch helplessly as she succumbed to her sweet slumber. All I did was lie awake in my own bed and cry. I hated crying. It was like I was some how defeating my manliness. But throughout all of those months, I didn't give a fuck. I didn't care who saw me or who even wanted to be around me. I was too sad. Too mad. Too depressed.  
  
So every night I lay there while gentle rivers of tears streamed down my pathetic face. Trying to get over her. Trying to remember Miranda. Trying to feel sorry for myself.  
  
  
  
I picked up the telephone and dialed Lizzie's telephone number.  
  
"Hello Mrs. McGuire. Is Lizzie there?" I asked.  
  
"No, I'm sorry Gordo. She's at Ethan Craft's house. If it is an emergency, I can give you the number." She replied.  
  
"No, that's okay. I can handle this on my own."  
  
I hung up the phone and ran directly downstairs and out of the house.  
  
  
  
How can she do this to me? She knows how much I despise that guy and then it turns out that she's at his house. Probably making out or something.  
  
Buy the time I got to Ethan's house, Lizzie was leaving out the front door.  
  
"Bye Ethan! Thanks for letting me borrow your history book!" Lizzie yelled into his house.  
  
"Hey Lizzie." I said.  
  
"Gordo! What are you doing here?"  
  
"Actually I was just walking through the neighborhood and I saw you leaving Ethan's house so I wanted to talk to you."  
  
"Oh, okay. Well, I've only been at Ethan's for like 5 minutes. I came by his house to copy his history notes except he didn't take notes so I just asked to borrow his book until I got a new one. He asked me to come upstairs and get it with him but I told him I'd just wait downstairs and now, here I am."  
  
"Long story. Why didn't you just ask me for my notes? You know I had them."  
  
"I know, but, things have been really awkward between us lately, you know? I mean, I didn't want there to be some huge, weird confrontation like there was in the library."  
  
"Oh, okay. It's just, I don't know. It kinda hurt me in a way. Like, you didn't think of me first. Well, you did but maybe its just that I wanted you to think of me."  
  
"Gordo, I always think of you."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, I mean, you've been my best friend since we were babies and I could never forget you. It's just, with the whole Miranda thing, the whole friendship has been a little strained lately."  
  
"I know what you mean."  
  
"But I figure that since we're on speaking terms now, maybe we can, at least try to be friends again."  
  
"Yeah, I really like that."  
  
"Good. I gotta go but I'll see you tomorrow at school okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Lizzie smiled and walked away in the direction towards her house.  
  
A smile came across my face and a thought exploded into my mind. If Lizzie and I are on speaking terms, maybe we can get this friendship back. And if we do get this friendship back, is there a possibility for love? 


	4. 12:03

"Lizzie, can you please meet me somewhere tonight?" I asked.  
  
"Sure, Gordo. Where do you want to go?" Lizzie responded.  
  
"Meet me at the part at 12:00 Midnight. K?"  
  
"Why at midnight?"  
  
"Please, just be there."  
  
"Okay, sure."  
  
"Great. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
  
  
12:03 Midnight  
  
Where is she? I told her to meet me at the park at midnight exactly and it's 12:03 already. What if she decides to not come? God, will I look like a loser.  
  
"Hey Gordo." I knew whose beautiful voice was radiating through the air.  
  
I turned around and saw Lizzie standing there as beautiful as ever. Hair shining, eyes glowing. Even with how late it was, she didn't seem to care. It's like she wanted to be there.  
  
"You're late."  
  
I couldn't believe I blurted out those words so negatively. She'll probably think I'm a jerk.  
  
"No, duh, Gordo. It took forever to get my parents to go to sleep without suspecting that I was up to something."  
  
"Oh, well, try to get her faster next time."  
  
"Don't be so rude."  
  
"Sorry, I'm just a little anxious, that's all."  
  
"Okay. So, why did you want to see me?"  
  
"Well…"  
  
I moved over to a bench and sat down.  
  
"Well, what?"  
  
"Well, I really needed to talk to you about something important. And, I couldn't do it over the phone or through email because I thought that it would be better to do in person."  
  
"Oh, well, it sounds serious. Just tell me."  
  
"Okay."  
  
I took a deep and heavy sigh. I didn't know if I was ready to get into this.  
  
"Have you ever had deep feelings for anybody, anything for that matter, and just wanted to express them. You know, like you have so much love or so much hate and you just needed to let them go or else you wouldn't know what to do with your life."  
  
"I don't know. In terms of hate, I have really disliked a few people but not passionately. And, in terms of love, I guess I've had crushes. It's like, I don't know. Sometimes I think that we're all too young to understand what love really is. This is only high school. But I guess, if I really found someone who felt truthfully and passionately in love with me, I might just happen to have those feelings to."  
  
"Why didn't you?"  
  
"Why didn't I what?"  
  
"Why didn't you have those feelings for anyone? I mean, the chance did come up."  
  
"Yeah, it did, but those were completely different circumstances. Gordo, you told me that you were in love with me and that was the reason for why Miranda killed herself. I mean, how's a girl supposed to take something like that. She finds out a guy that she kinda likes likes her back and that her best friend just killed herself because of those feelings."  
  
"You liked me?"  
  
"It doesn't matter now, does it Gordo?"  
  
"I find it very unlikely that we will ever have a chance for love again."  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
Tears began to well up in her eyes.  
  
"Lizzie, just listen to me. It's been over a year. I still love you. I never stopped loving you and I don't think I ever will. I tried to get over you and I never could. It was too hard."  
  
"I just don't think I can handle this anymore."  
  
"Handle what?"  
  
"All of this 'I love you' 'You love me' bull shit. I mean, what has love really done for us. It's caused me to probably never be happy again, it's caused you to never get over me, and it's caused my best friend to kill herself. Doesn't seem so great to me."  
  
"Lizzie, don't say that. Please."  
  
"Just, leave me alone Gordo. Please. I can't take anymore right now."  
  
Lizzie stood up now with gallons of tears falling from her eyes. I tried to grab her arm but she ran away as fast as possible. 


	5. Truth

I couldn't believe how awful that had gone. I expected to tell Lizzie how much I still love her and to have her tell me she loves me back and that she wants to be with me just as much as I want to be with her. But that didn't seem to happen because all that did happen was have Lizzie probably hate me even more than she might have before.  
  
I sat on that bench for another 20 minutes just staring into space and thinking of how I should have talked to her better or how I could have done anything better to not make her hate me so much.  
  
I began being sad but became angry. I've tried to show her how much I love her and all she wants to do is to slice open my chest, rip out my heart and put it in a food processor.  
  
Why am I spending all this time being depressed over a girl that has probably never loved me?  
  
Why am I spending all this time being depressed over a girl that said that she could never love me?  
  
Why am I spending all this time sitting on a bench thinking of Lizzie if I am so mad at her?  
  
I try to be mad at her but it's so hard because my feelings of love never seem to want to go away no matter how hard I try.  
  
I decided to go home and try to rest on all of the shit that had happened in the park.  
  
  
  
1 THE NEXT AFTERNOON  
  
It was raining outside. It was probably the hardest rain I had ever seen and it didn't even bother me. I liked the refreshing feeling of cool rain on my skin. It was like taking a shower for the entire world to see.  
  
I decided to walk home from school. I didn't want a ride because I wanted to be in the rain and I didn't want anyone pestering me about life and shit.  
  
Before I knew it, I was nearly infront of Lizzie's house. Lizzie was already home because I could see her standing near her window. I needed to talk to her badly. I figured that things had gotten as worse as they could have and she couldn't ignore me forever.  
  
I rang the doorbell a few times and knocked continuously on the door but no one seemed to answer.  
  
"Elizabeth McGuire, I know you're inside of that house. I saw you buy the window." I screamed.  
  
A few seconds later, Lizzie came to the door.  
  
"What? Are you stalking me now or something?" She said.  
  
"I didn't like the way we ended yesterday." I yelled.  
  
"Well, neither did I but that's how things are."  
  
She was about to shut her door when I put my hand out and stopped the door.  
  
"Don't ignore me, Lizzie. We have some extremely big issues her and I don't appreciate you just pushing it away."  
  
"Well, I don't appreciate you treating me like I'm some fucking child, Gordo. I'm the same age as you are; I'm in the same grade. So, why don't you just give me some damn respect?"  
  
"Please, can I just come inside."  
  
"No, I don't want you inside of my house."  
  
"Fine."  
  
I grabbed her wrist and dragged her outside.  
  
"Oh my god, what the hell are you doing?"  
  
"I'm doing whatever I can to get you to listen to me."  
  
"Well, this doesn't seem very appealing to me, Gordo."  
  
I sighed.  
  
"For these past couple of years, you've been all I can think about, dream about."  
  
Lizzie began to walk back to her house.  
  
"Don't go. Listen. Okay?"  
  
She just nodded her head.  
  
"I know that you don't like hearing the thought of me loving you, but I need to tell you. Keeping it inside is only making things worse for both of us?"  
  
"How? Before all of this, we were starting to become friends again and now all you wanna do is love me or whatever."  
  
"It's not just that. I know you love me to. You almost said it before."  
  
It begins to rain even harder.  
  
"Yeah, well, those feelings are long gone in the past."  
  
"No, they're not. I know they're not."  
  
"God, you're so persistent. Gordo, do you ever think about the consequence of us being together? I mean, the consequences of you even having a crush on me lead to one of OUR best friends killing herself because she was so depressed."  
  
"I know that. I know all of that. But that was then, this is now. I miss Miranda just as much as you do, maybe even more. But I realize that me trying to be a better person now, than I was before is learning to express how I feel before things turn dangerous."  
  
"Us being together would be dangerous."  
  
"I know you feel that way, but please just listen. I've been trying to suppress these feelings but I can't anymore. I know you can't either and that is why I think that we should both just come out in the open now and get it over with."  
  
Lizzie began to cry again.  
  
"I love you Gordo. I always have and I think that I always will. I try to tell myself that I'm too young to even think about love but that more I try, the more I want to be with you. When you told me Miranda killed herself, I thought that I would never be happy because I lost one of my best friends. And then, when you told me she killed herself over you loving me, I felt all mixed up inside. I was sad because of the death, but I was happy to hear that you loved me the same way as I loved you. But, how did that look? It looked wrong in my eyes Gordo. I mean, I'm a bad person for thinking that way. Aren't I? I'm a bad person for being glad that the person I love chose me over my suicidal best friend. I'm evil. That's why I could never be with you. It's mean, to you, to me, to Miranda for having these feelings and I just can't take it anymore."  
  
Lizzie fell to her knees almost identically to how Miranda fell when I told her I didn't love her. I fell to the ground next to Lizzie. All of this information was suffocating me. I never knew Lizzie felt like this and I was a little shocked. But, I wasn't stupid.  
  
I lifted Lizzie's gentle head up and held it in my hands. I cupped her cheek and place a small, and sweet kiss on her lips. 


	6. What's in a Dream?

I could feel the smooth feelings of her unbelievably soft lips and I loved it. I started to fell pressure from Lizzie's lips onto mine and I knew that she was showing me the same time of emotion that I was giving her.  
  
Lizzie stood up and I did the same.  
  
"Oh my god, what just happened here?" Lizzie said.  
  
"We just kissed, Lizzie." I replied.  
  
"I know that but you know what I mean."  
  
"You told me you had the same feelings for me as I do for you."  
  
"I know. So what happens now?"  
  
I reached forward and kissed her again even more passionately than before. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I placed my arms around her slender hips.  
  
Lizzie gently pulled away and smiled. She smiled her great smile, which could melt a thousand hearts. She looked truly happy and I felt glad. I felt glad because I was the one that was making her so happy.  
  
And she too was making me happy. I had dreamed and wished and hoped that this moment would happen billions of times and now that it finally has, I feel like I'm in heaven.  
  
  
  
bLATER THAT NIGHTb  
  
While I was lying in bed, I began to think of the events of earlier that day. Me going to Lizzie's house in the rain, Lizzie confessing her love for me and Lizzie and I kissing passionately in the sweet rain. It was like we were in some romantic movie.  
  
I thought that I would be able to get a good night of sleep now because I was happy in my life.  
  
  
  
bGORDO'S DREAMb  
  
I ran over to Lizzie's house. The sun was shining beautifully and the sky was clear and blue.  
  
Lizzie was standing outside of her house in a beautiful sundress. The wind blew her hair and dress slightly leaving much to the imagination.  
  
I ran up to Lizzie and picked her up in my arms. I placed her down and we began to make out incisively in pure daylight. I didn't care who saw us because I was too much in love with this girl to care what anyone else thought.  
  
Suddenly, we were transferred to the park were it was midnight. We stopped kissing when we saw Miranda walking up to us. She was wearing a white spaghetti-strap nightgown and was walking slowly up towards us. She had her hands behind her back as if she was carrying something but I couldn't see what it was.  
  
She stopped when she was nearly 4 feet away from the both of us. She moved her hands away from her back and revealed the same type of handgun that she had used when she first committed suicide.  
  
"How could you do this to me?" She cried.  
  
"Do what?" I asked.  
  
"This entire time, I thought you loved me when it turned out that you were only using me. You loved Lizzie and you were trying to pass your feelings aside for her buy trying to get with her."  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"Yes it is. Don't lie to me. I saw you too kissing in front of Lizzie's house. How could you?"  
  
"I'm so sorry Miranda."  
  
"You should be."  
  
Miranda lifted the rifle to her head and the gunshot went off.  
  
  
  
I woke up panting extremely hard. There was sweat dripping off of my face like I had poured it on myself.  
  
I looked at my alarm clock.  
  
11:45 P.M.  
  
"I've got to see Lizzie." I said.  
  
I jumped out of my bed and quickly put some clothes on. As much as I didn't want to admit it, that dream was true in a sense and I had to see Lizzie. 


	7. Midnightmares

I did not want to disrupt Lizzie in her quiet slumber but I knew that if I didn't tell her about my dream, it would constantly haunt me.  
  
I stood outside of Lizzie's window and watched her sleep for a few minutes. As I was just about to knock on her window, she abruptly woke up out of her dream. She was panting heavily and her face was dripping with sweat. My beautiful Lizzie did not look as peaceful as she normally did.  
  
Lizzie jumped out of bed. She turned towards the window and we looked each other straight in the eyes. Lizzie ran to the window and opened it.  
  
"Oh my god, Gordo, what are you doing here so late?" Lizzie cried.  
  
"I had to come and see you." I replied.  
  
"But why are you standing outside of my window?"  
  
"I didn't want to wake the rest of your family."  
  
"You scared me so much. It was like I was alone with some ghost. Please don't do that again."  
  
"Okay. But can I come in?"  
  
"Yeah, come on."  
  
I climbed inside of her room.  
  
"You know, that wasn't the first time that I stood outside your window."  
  
"You used to watch me outside my window?"  
  
"Yeah, you always look so peaceful and glorious. And I can see the beams of the moon shine against your skin. You look like an angel."  
  
"Well, I know I don't look like an angel now."  
  
"Don't say that. You always look good, no matter what. But, right now, you do look a little scared."  
  
Lizzie was shaking like if she had seen a ghost. Her body was still extremely sweaty and her hair was tousled in all directions.  
  
I walked up to her and pulled her tightly into my arms.  
  
"It's okay, it's okay. Shhhhh, please, just tell me what happened."  
  
"I had the worst nightmare in my entire life."  
  
"What was it about?"  
  
"You came to see me and then we began to kiss passionately."  
  
"Doesn't seem so bad to me!"  
  
"Please don't do this. I need you to take me seriously. All of a sudden, you and I were alone and Miranda was there. She was mad because we were together and she killed herself, again."  
  
I pulled away from Lizzie. It freighted me to know that Lizzie had had the same dream that I had only moments afterwards.  
  
"Gordo, what's wrong?" Lizzie asked.  
  
"It's just, I had the same exact dream that you had. And, and, that's why I came over here. Because it scared me so much, I had to tell you."  
  
"Well, what do you think it means?"  
  
"In all honestly, I don't know. Maybe it's our heads telling us that us being together isn't right. That it would be wrong to Miranda."  
  
"Gordo, why is my heart telling me that it is right?"  
  
"I don't know. My heart feels the same thing. But, I just think that for now, we should try to stay friends."  
  
"Do you know how hard that will be? I've denied my feelings for you for so long, and now that I have the chance to express them, you're telling me that now isn't the right time."  
  
"Don't be mad."  
  
"Get out. I, I can't stand to be around you right now. I'll see you later."  
  
I climbed out of her window and slowly walked back to my house. 


	8. One Letter

Lizzie and I hadn't spoken to each other in days. All I wanted was to explain to her what I was feeling about the whole Miranda dream situation. I didn't want to hurt her but the dream scared me deeply.  
  
I decided to write a letter to Lizzie in study hall. I thought that since she won't physically talk to me, she might want to listen to me with written word.  
  
  
  
Dear Lizzie,  
  
I'm sorry for all of the pain that I have brought you over these past couple of years. I didn't want you to be upset with what I dreamt about and even now I even regret the way I handled the situation. For two years, I have been passionately in love with you. I have wanted to kiss your soft lips, run my fingers through your silky hair and tell you how I feel. I thought that after Miranda's death, you would never want to speak to me again. But when you started talking to me again a year later, I thought there might be hope for the two of us. I declared my love for you and finally, you did the same for me. But Miranda's spirit still haunts me. Her death is still an important part in what will happen to our relationship later on in life. I don't like fighting with you. I don't like knowing that you are mad at me because I had a dream and told you that I didn't want to be with you. I completely regret what I said because I do want to be with you, even if it is only as friends.  
  
This is why I am asking you if you can meet me at my house tonight at 9:00. We must talk about all of the crazy shit that has been happening to us and I need to know that you don't hate me.  
  
  
  
Love,  
  
Gordo  
  
  
  
I went up to Lizzie after study hall and gave her the letter.  
  
"I know that you are mad at me," I began.  
  
"Of course I'm mad at you Gordo. For all of this time, you've told me that you love me and then you tell me you can't be with me because of some dream you had? How does that pan out?" She cried.  
  
Lizzie does have a point.  
  
"I know, I know. I really think that you should read this letter that I've written you. It will explain my feelings in a better way than I can right now."  
  
Lizzie grabs the letter angrily and storms away.  
  
  
  
Later That Day  
  
I waited impatiently for Lizzie. All I could think about was if she would be mad at me and her initial reaction to the letter. The doorbell rang at 9:10 and Lizzie stepped through the door.  
  
"You can come up to my room. My parents aren't home so they won't disrupt us or anything," I said.  
  
Lizzie and I walked up the stairs to my room. I closed the door and locked it afterwards.  
  
"Gordo, I…" Lizzie began.  
  
"I know what your going to say, Lizzie. You're going to say that you're mad at me and that you probably hate me for all the pain that I've put you through but I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you. I love you, I've always loved you. I hope you know that because its more true than anything else in the world. And I miss you so much. I wanna start over. I want us to be thruthful and open with our feelings for each other; good, or bad. I want you to not hate me. Please." I said.  
  
"You know, you've always had these long explanations for things. Going on and on and on. But, truthfully, that wasn't what I was going to tell you."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I was going to tell you that I understand what you're feeling. I was scared to get into a relationship with you to because of what Miranda might think. But we've been through this. We've been through everything and then some together and I really think that we need each other more than anything else in this world. I've never been more sure of anything in the world. I've never known, how much I truly love some one until I found you."  
  
With that, Lizzie came up to me and kissed me passionately on the lips. I confidently obliged with the kiss by pressing hard on her lips and slipping me tongue into her delicious mouth. This kiss felt better than any kiss I had ever had in my entire life. It felt right and true and I knew that that would guide me in my relationship with Lizzie. 


	9. The First

Authors Note: I feel that I don't need to change the rating for this story even after writing this chapter. This is Lizzie and Gordo's first time together and I feel that they can make love without being graphic in the details. I tried to put more emphasis on the act before the love making rather than the time spent itself. I would greatly appreciate your comments on this chapter. Don't worry, it is not the last.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lizzie wrapped her smooth arms around my neck. The touch was unbelievable. I lifted her up as she wrapped her legs around me. I could feel the rough feeling of her jeans on my pants.  
  
Lizzie pushed me hard onto my bed. The look on her face indicated that she wanted this just as much as I wanted. Maybe even more. She took of her thin pink camisole and threw it on the floor exposing her bear chest.  
  
I took a thick gulp. I had been through this experience with Miranda many times, but with Lizzie, it felt like it was the first time.  
  
Lizzie practically tore the belt buckle off of my pants and I helped her with taking them off.  
  
I kissed Lizzie's bare chest as I desperately tried to get my own shirt off of my chest. She slipped my boxers off and there I stood, completely naked, and a little humble.  
  
I don't know why I felt so nervous. I've done this before and this is Lizzie. I love her, it shouldn't be so awkward.  
  
"What about you?" I asked.  
  
"What about me?" She replied.  
  
I looked down to her curvaceous legs and she understood what I was talking about when she slipped her thong underwear off.  
  
"Are you sure?" I asked.  
  
"This may sound cliché, but I've never been more ready in my life. I love you and I want you to make love to me, like it's the first time." Lizzie said.  
  
For what seemed like a millisecond, Lizzie and I stared at each other's bare bodies. We were naked, completely. We were in the most modest and gratis states of our bodies. There were no designer clothes, no heavy makeup, no shadows of fear and desperation feeling heavy our entire beings.  
  
I walked up to my dresser drawer and pulled out a condom. I guess I've always had them and gotten them from when I was with Miranda. I opened the package and slowly walked towards Lizzie.  
  
I kissed her passionately all over her body. Mouth, neck, breasts, stomach, legs. There was no part of her body that I didn't want to divulge in during this time.  
  
It only took a few moments for me to grow hard. I slid the condom on myself.  
  
Lizzie walked back over to my bed and laid down on my bed.  
  
Lizzie and I began kissing again and I slowly slid myself into her. I thrust deeply into her making sure she felt every aspect of myself in her.  
  
Lizzie and I both moaned in pleasure and we had our orgasms.  
  
It was great. When I was with Miranda, we had sex. But now that I am with Lizzie, it is making love. It is showing how much true love we have each other in the most romantic of all ways.  
  
I slowly slid out of her and we both collapsed on to my bed. Lizzie began to grow tired and snuggled up into my arms.  
  
Never had any experience been so fulfilling as that. 


	10. Serene

"I better go." Lizzie said.  
  
"Yeah, I guess." I replied.  
  
Lizzie began to walk to my front door. She turned back around toward me.  
  
"You know, I never thought that I'd be so emotionally and physically close to anyone in my life." Lizzie began.  
  
"Yeah, I know. I feel the same way. It's like, when I was with you, everything was right and complete and perfect." I said.  
  
"It feels so good. Knowing and feeling like there is even more in my life to look forward to. I don't think I could be as happy as I am now and, and…" Lizzie stated.  
  
I walked up to her and kissed her gently on the lips.  
  
"And now, things can be right again."  
  
"Bye, Gordo."  
  
Lizzie left the house.  
  
  
  
THE NEXT MORNING  
  
I decided to call Lizzie on the phone.  
  
The phone rang a few times before Lizzie finally picked up.  
  
"Hi, Lizzie?" I said.  
  
"Hey Gordo!" She exclaimed.  
  
"I think, we should do something that we should have done, together, a long time ago."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
  
  
LATER THAT AFTERNOON  
  
Lizzie and I walked together hand in hand towards the local cemetery where Miranda was buried.  
  
Lizzie turned towards me and sighed deeply. I knew exactly how she was feeling but knew it was right, that it was time.  
  
I couldn't believe that I had not visited Miranda's grave after all of these years. It's like I felt guilty and that if I went, I don't know, I'd have to come face-to-face with all these emotions I just wasn't ready for.  
  
I don't know if Lizzie has visited Miranda's grave before this time. It didn't really matter.  
  
We walked up to Miranda's grave and Lizzie squatted down in front of the grave.  
  
Lizzie was silent for a few moments before she spoke again.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Miranda. I brought you so much pain and I never wanted to do anything like that ever in my life. I mean, you're my best friend and even now that you're gone, you always will be. Forever."  
  
Lizzie began to cry and I squatted down next to her and embraced her in my arms.  
  
"I don't think that Lizzie should be sorry," I began saying to the grave, "I should be sorry. I should be hurt and feel desperate and I am. I do feel like that and I will remember that for the rest of my life. I'm sorry for hurting you. For causing you all of this pain. For pushing you to this edge. I should have been here a long time ago and I regret everyday that I haven't but I want you to know that even though you are gone, I will always love you as one of my best and only friends."  
  
Lizzie and I both stood up. She kissed me on the cheek and we placed a set of daisies on by her grave.  
  
Lizzie intertwined her arm around mine and we walked away together. Peaceful and serene, finally. 


End file.
